Oh, what could have been...

Ever since she was three my sister has wanted a turtle. And ever since she was three, my sister has had to wait for the baby of the time to grow up, because turtles carry salmonella, and salmonella is dangerous especially to babies who put anything and everything in their mouths, so long it fits (and trust me, a lot fits).


My sister is the second of six kiddos. Once a baby turned two, it was too late, she had to wait another couple of years because there was already another bundle of sunshine on the way. This happened 1, 2, 3 times, because when baby number five turned four, God decided he wasn't finished yet, and David made six. So that's a few more years to wait for that darn turtle.


Every once in a while, when Sofi's angry, she pulls out the broke turtle dream.


"You promised I would have a turtle! You promised! I do everything you ask, and get nothing back! And I can't take it any longer, I'm moving to Denver!"


She hasn't yet, by the way, put she's threatened us with that one since she was six.


Anyways, my sister's temper tantrums are not the subject of this post. We were talking about the turtle.


So, as I was saying, she's wanted on for a very long time. Imagine my surprise when I found one fore her yesterday! I big beautiful snapping turtle!



I was riding my bike, and I heard my dog barking at it, and I didn't know what it was, so I went and checked and it was sooooo cute! And I saved its life!

Isn't it adorable!



Honestly, I was already imagining my life with my brand new pet, and playing with it, and giving it baths, and painting its fingernails- er, claws- purple, and reading it stores, and putting it to bed! And I had already named it (Godiva, after a turtle in a book I read) when my mom asked me what I was going to do with it.


"I'm keeping it!"


And my mom asked me in very motherly terms if I had suffered from amnesia the past twelve years of my life.


But if there's anything I like more than keeping, it's giving. And I say that with all honesty. I could hardly wait to give it to her. She was actually at a meeting (yeah, she works) so I had to wait four hours for her to get back. Four hours. I was torturous.


When she finally got home you know what she decided? After barely looking at it you know what she decided?


She decided to return it to it's natural habitat.


What the heck?!


Since when is she the mature one?! That was totally my line, that's always been my line, and I threw it to the wind to make her happy!!


Yeah, yeah, it was the right thing to do, and the turtle was kind of vicious, and it did have inch long claws, and it was trying to escape, and it did look like she hated our guts, blah blah blah.


So now, Godiva the turtle is off in the wild somewhere, hopefully reunited with her turtle family, hopefully not ripped apart by a coyote.


So that was what happened. I learned that my sister is an ungrateful wretch more mature than I will ever be, and that turtles stink, man! They really smell awful.


So that was my good deed of the month, so now you guys know that I am officially not doing anything nice for a while. So don't ask any favors, or I'll move to Denver.